So Much For My Happy Ending
by queenofcruel
Summary: Theresa looks back on her life and mistakes, plz R&R
1. Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

A/N: I know I've got a lot of other stories going, but I couldn't resist this one, I was trying to work on the others, and I couldn't come up with nothing, but what id did come up with as this, hope you enjoy and please tell me what you think and if I should continue. BTW, this is wrote in Theresa' POV, I've never did nothing like this before.

The rain was pouring, thunder crashed ands lighten streaked the sky. My mind matched the weather perfectly, full of confusion and turmoil. So much had happened - So much. Yeah, all of it hadn't happened in a matter of day, or months, more like years, a lifetime of pain and sorrow. That had put me were I was now the point of no return. I'd tried so hard- so damn hard to better things, but it seemed like the more I tried to make my life better the worst it became.

"Mama, mama what's wrong?", I asked, I was almost 6, 2 more weeks , as a matter of a fact.

"Theresita, your father is gone.", mama told me, Gone what did that mean? Gone, was he dead?

"Gone?", I repeated in total shock and anger.

"He left, Theresa he didn't come home today.", mama told me.

I didn't understand, gone, didn't come home? What did this mean?

Sometime I can't help but blame him, sometimes I wonder if my life would have been different if he would have stuck around. If he hadn't left mama to raise 5 children. Sometimes I wonder how it would have been to have a sister. Have a close net family. Instead I was stuck with a mother who did her best, a brother who ran off, just like his father, my father, our father and poor Luis he had been a father to me and Miguel, I will be forever grateful to him. But, my heart does go out to Paloma, I never got to know my own sister. No doubt Paloma had felt abandoned.

"Sister, I have no sister.", Paloma huffed.

"Paloma, please I came to take you home.", I told her.

"A little to late for that Theresa. You, mama, Luis, Miguel you all gave me away. You didn't want me.", I saw the pain flash in her eyes and my heart ached for her.

"Paloma, I never went a day without missing you. Paloma, you are my baby sister.", I told her, I loved her and I wished I could get that through her skull.

"Whatever, Theresa.", Paloma huffed.

"Paloma…", I began, before she interrupted.

"Go home Theresa, go home and leave me here in Mexico.", Paloma told me, then turned her heel and in a blink of an eye she and her boyfriend were off.

I hope Paloma has found happiness, that he will be good to her, that she won't have to suffer like mama or me. That she don't lose everything like I have.

"Theresita, please tell me that you aren't going to continue this.?", mama asked, every night it was the same thing, but I was o selfish and a bit naïve to listen.

Fox had once said that I was more hard headed then anyone he'd ever met, enough about Nicholas Foxworth Crane, I'll get to him later.

Mama, not again…", I tell her then continue to apply my make up, not to heavily just enough to make my appearance better.

"Theresita, miha what if Gwen…", Mama began.

"To hell with Gwen. She has took everything from me, why not return the favor?", I asked, coolly.

"Theresa, Ethan is using you. You're just a whore in his eye, sweet heart.", mama tells me.

"And, I'm using him.", I reply, checking myself once more in the mirror. I like the way thong fits my buttocks and smile in satisfaction. "As for the way he perceives me I couldn't careless. Besides whore's get more.", I coo.

Mama gives me a displeasing frown and shakes her head ,"When will you ever learn?", she asks.

I ignore her statement then, turn and place the red dress over my head and over my black thong set.

I hear the taxi horn blow the taxi, Ethan has hired to pick me up.

"I- Mama don't worry I'm a big girl.", I tell her then hurry out to the taxi.

I guess you are wondering why I was sleeping around with a married man? Well that 's quit simple I love him, well did at first it came more about getting back at Gwen. Gwen Hotchkiss, my nemeses. The woman who I hate more than life itself. Fox once said…there I go again. Fox I can't help it he's on my brain, in my soul, but he's in my best friend's bed. Once again, I'm going off track let me continue.

Well me and Ethan went on for months, playing mattress tag, sneaking around and checking in hotel rooms all over and through Harmony, till that one night.

"Sit down.", he ordered and I obeyed.

"Ethan…", I began, trying to make eye contact with him, he simply looked away.

"Theresa ,we can't continue doing this.", Ethan tells me, I simply look at him.

"I thought you said…", I begin, but he interrupts.

"I know you get yours I get mine, well I'm sick of this. You aren't so good in bed, my dear as a matter of a fact…", my hand connects with his face, delivering a mind blowing slap.

"You bitch.", he screams, then he regains his composure. "Get out.", he replies coolly.

"It's Gwen, ain't it?", I asked, he doesn't answer, but I can tell she know, a part of me laughs like the devil in the wind and apart of me is sad it's over a chapter of my life is over.

"Get out.", he tells me his voice a little raised.

"With pleasure.", I tell him slamming the door, as if the earth as moved off axle.

Now I can get to my favorite part, my real true love, my knight in shinning armor -Fox.

"Theresa….", I hear him call after me, it's late, my cheeks are stained with tears.

Okay, I lied I cared a little more than I let on about Ethan, hell he was indeed my first love.

"Theresa…", he continues, he's running after me and I know eventually he'll catch up with me, I wipe away my tears and turn to him

"What?", I scream.

"Why are you running?", he asks simply, sometimes he asked the stupidest questions.

"What?", I ask.

"I've been chasing you for over an hour.", he tells me, he's apparently out of breath,. He takes his thumb and wipes away a stray tear that has rolled down my cheek. "What happened? Who hurt you?", I since anger in his voice and I'm touched, he cares.

"No one.", I lie and automatically he calls me on it.

"Theresa, I know you.", he tells me. "You can't lie to me."

I sigh and begin. "Ethan and I…"

"I'll kill that sorry son of a…", he begins before I put my hand to his lips silencing him.

"Really it's okay.", I tell him simply.

"No it ain't.", he replies. "Resa, I swear if he…"

Resa, he has never called me that, and the truth is I like how that sounds.

"Nicholas, relax.", I tell him, and I see a glee in his eye. He likes when I call him that, but I knew he'd never admit it.

"Theresa…", he looks at me so much is there, friendship, compassion, trust, heat, love, woo, heat love? Suddenly I look away my cheeks are now heated with embarrassment.

"Theresa, what's a matter?", he asks, this time he takes his hand and tilts my chin so that eyes lock.

Man, anyone could get lost in those eyes, I feel like I'm drowning.

My lips feel like they are being magnetically pulled to his, and when are lips meet I fee like a fire has been ignited, he doesn't pull back only pulls closer, I feel his tongue running over my lips almost as if he's begging for me to open my lips and let his tongue in my mouth, I grant his wish and I feel his tongue dance over mine, and feel a fire between my legs, a yearning, I pull back. I can't do this I tell myself, he's my best friend, my true friend, he looks at me for a minute I see hurt in his eyes, then I see it be masked. "I'm sorry.", he tells me, hanging his head in shame, then he regains his composure and turns to me. "How about I take you home.", he asks, I nod. "I'd like that.", my mind keeps screaming at me, cause the thoughts about home aren't innocent in my thoughts I see me and him in my bed indulging in the sweetest sin, I shake my head in attempt to clear my heads, maybe this full moon is having an affect on me? I wonder as I stare at the sky. Suddenly I'm awoken from my thoughts when I feel him wrap his jacket around my petit shoulders. "Thank you.", I mummer, and he nods. "It's cold.", he tells me simply as we walk towards my house.

A/N 2:That's all for now.


	2. Chapter 2

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Chapter 2

A/N: I guess when it rains it pours, I just can't get this story out of my head, it's haunting me. I'm still working on the others though and keep in mind this story is Theresa's POV. Which is to totally new to me. Also, I ain't using current storylines, well just the Foney, sorry guy oh and keep in mine Chad ain't the Evian kid neither Whitney or Theresa are / were pregnant. I think that's all the cleifications I need to make now so….ENJOY and plz, R & R

I guess you're wondering just why it is, I didn't pursue anything with him? Well that's were your wrong, I did I made the mistake of being with him for all the wrong reasons, just like I had Ethan..

__

"Fox, come on you know you want me.", I told him, standing before him in a red negligee, I'm a bit lit, I had been drinking away my hurt and pain for it was my son's birthday, my dead son's. birthday.

"Theresa please, don't do this.", he tells me, he sees the tears that are no doubt spilling down my cheeks.

"Fox he's dead, my son he's dead.", I cry and he holds me, then I look up at him, right now I would give anything to feel his arms around me, for him to numb my pain for awhile.

"Fox…", I utter, I really don't have the strength to ask for what I want, but he understands and pulls me close to him, and holds me tight.

You see that's one of the many reasons I hate Gwen, she is the reason for my son's death.

__

"Theresa, get away from him, he's my son.", Gwen snarled at me.

"That's were your wrong he's your son for now.", I tell her coolly, I vowed along time ago to get him back. "I will get him back."

And I did, thanks to Fox, I got my son back, but the reunion was cut short when Gwen once again took him.

__

"Ms. Fitzgerald, you nor Mr. And Mrs. Winthrop are fit to raise a puppy, so the court has took another approach we the courts grant custody of Ethan Martin Crane to his brother Nicholas Foxworth Crane.", the judge told us.

Gwen let out a scream. "Over my dead body. Theresa, isn't getting her son back. She killed my Sara.", she pulls out a gun, everyone is trying to stop her but, she's to determined and she does indeed do what she set out to do kill my son as a way of revenge.

Everything goes dark, I faint, my son is dead.

I can hear Rebecca in the background trying to make a excuse for what her daughter has done, then I hear him - Fox telling her to leave and then telling her what it takes that there is no reason in the world for Gwen brutally murdering my son.

The funeral was so long, it seemed like my whole world had came crashing down, that it was some big dream and that I would wake up to find him in my bed, safe from harm.

__

"Theresa…", Ethan begins, I simply look at him, I make sure he knows how much I hate him.

"What?", I ask, making sure he notices that he annoys me and that I think of him as lower than dirt.

"I'm sorry.", he tells me, and I simply look at him with a blank stare.

"Theresa, she will pay.", he vows.

"Yes she will.", I reply, I want to be left along doesn't he realize that?

"Ethan…", Fox calls out, I silently thank God for him being there.

"Momsy, needs to speak to you.", he tells him and like he expected Ethan ran off to his mother.

"Thank you.", I mummer, and he simply nods.

"Fox he's dead.", I'm still in denial.

"Yeah, he is.", Fox tells me, and pulls me to him, as I begin to weep.

I watch as the pick up his small coffin and prepare to carry it out of the church, this is the last few minutes I have left with my son.

The graveyard is lonely and cold and my son will be there forever.

__

Everyone had left, all except me, I stay there with tears running down my cheeks, Lord how I'd like to just die, die and leave behind the cold harsh reality that my son is dead. I look at his headstone, my sweet dear son, is gone.

"Theresa…", Fox calls out he to has tears rolling down his face as well.

"Fox, I - he shouldn't be here.", I tell him.

"No he shouldn't.", he agrees.

"Fox's he's way to little for this. He's afraid of the dark.", I tell him.

"He's going to be alright, he's in heaven, with Jesus.", he tells me, trying to comfort me. "He's happy, he'll never have to suffer."

I nod, his words calm me a little, but the fact still remains my son is lost to me.

I place a single white rose on his grave and then collect myself and stand to my feet, it's cold, it's a cold December night, it's close to Christmas, with that thought I begin to cry again, Christmas, I'll never ever want to celebrate Christmas for as long as I live.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3  
  
_A/N: This chapter is truly sadistic, I keep questioning myself as I wrote it, but it seems fitting. Enjoy. _**  
  
I guess you're wondering how I bounced back from that one, well some might say I didn't, if you were to look at my wrist and see the deep scars and fresh cuts you'd say I'm mentally instable. But, I never could quite do it, I never could get the nerve to end it.  
  
_The razor connects with my skin and a drop of blood comes, that ain't enough though I want to hurt I want to feel something, I'm sick of being numb, I feel the blood ooze out, the pain is so welcoming, the blood so soothing it shows I'm human, I now feel just a sample of what my son did.  
  
"Theresa….", mama calls out, I quickly hide the razor and pull down my black long sleeve shirt, black, my new favorite color it matches me perfectly.  
  
"What?", I ask, opening the door.  
  
"You've been in there so long.", mama tells me.  
  
"I was just taking a bath.", I tell her. "Among other things."  
  
She looks at me like I'm some alien. "Fox called."  
  
Fox my heart leaps. "What did he want?"  
  
"To see if you want to join him, Whitney and Chad at the Blue note.", she tells me.  
  
"Not to night, I'm…not to night mama.", I tell her. _  
  
I guess you must think I'm insane? Crazy? Well if you think this is insane and crazy things are to get a little more bizarre.  
  
_"Are you crazy? Theresa come on you can't be serious.", Whit tells me.  
  
"I'm dead serious.", I reply.  
  
"You're going to purposely hurt Rebecca?", Whitney asks as if she's shock.  
  
"No.", I reply, with a look of determination and hatred in my eyes. "I'm going to kill that bitch. Gwen will finally see what pain I'm going through, she'll finally know what it feels like to lose the person you care the most for.", I tell her, Fox looks at me he hasn't said a word, he simply stares at me with amazement and fear.  
  
"Theresa, come on you don't mean that.", he finally say something after much silence.  
  
I nod my head yes. "Yeah, I do."  
  
He looks at me. "Theresa, as much as I despise the woman I don't want her dead."  
  
"Well, I do, she tries to justify her daughters action, hell it was Rebecca's gun Gwen used, she and that daughter of hers killed my precious little boy, I want her to pay, I want her to suffer a cruel death at my hands, I want to watch as the blood flows from body, I want to watch her take her last breath.", I tell them, Fox looks at me.  
  
"Theresa, come on you're not thinking, straight.", Whitney tells me.  
  
"I've gave this a lot of thought Whit, I'm going to kill the bitch and then I'm going to make sure Gwen rots in prison.", I reply.  
  
"Theresa, this ain't you talking, okay. The Theresa I know would never hurt a fly.", Fox tells me.  
  
"Well, she's dead, she died when my son died, I'm no long the sweet nice do over, I'm cruel, heartless….", I began.  
  
He looks at me, he can tell I'm for real about this. "I'll help you.", he tells me interrupting me.  
  
"Are you crazy, Fox come on.", Whitney begins.  
  
"No, Theresa, I'll - I'll help you.", he tells me.  
  
"Thank you, Whit?", I ask, I know she's to goody goody for this.  
  
"No.", She replies. "Theresa, I can't…."  
  
"Okay, then.", I reply. _  
  
I guess you're wondering what could possible drive me to such lengths of cruelty, well that simple, I see it as an eye for and eye, she killed my son and I killed her mother.  
  
_I watch in the shadows as the sniper I hired shots Rebecca as she climbs into her Lincoln, I laugh in side, the bitch is going to die, she's finally going to pay for what she did to my son, she'll finally feeling just what my son had, she's feeling her lungs fill with blood, she's feeling blood come from her pathetic fat ass. She's feeling her last breath leave her body, she's meeting father death, in the most supreme way.  
  
I walk over to her body, she's still breathing, she looks up at me. "Theresa…please."  
  
"Please what, Rebecca, save you? Why should I, hmm, why should I?", I ask.  
  
"Please, I - Theresa.", she's in her final moments of life.  
  
"Why, Rebecca you helped kill my son.", I hiss. "Why should I help you?"  
  
"Theresa.", she dead, she dead, I know it.  
  
I pick up my cell and call the ambulance to remove the trash from the pier. _  
  
Now, after that I had some peace, Rebecca had felt what my son had felt, she'd felt the bullet go through her and felt the blood and experienced her last breath and I had been there, hell I'd given anything to know what was going through her mind as she died and I refused to help her. And, thanks to Fox I'd never was connected to her death, it had been past of on Sean Owens a inmate who was on death row, he clamed he and Rebecca were lovers and he settled the score by killing Ms. Hotchkiss, hell if I didn't know the truth I would have believed him he laughed as he told of her death. After that Fox and I became very close, he had helped me after all as for Whitney she distanced herself from me, she told me I was psychotic and till I got help she wanted nothing to do with me, but often wonder if she hated me for what I did then why in the hell was she and Fox so chum, heck he was the one who called the hit man, set up Rebecca at the pier, everything I had done.  
  
_"Oh, God.", I sigh, as I get back to the mansion Fox is waiting for me.  
  
"Is she…", he begins.  
  
I nod. "Yeah, she's in hell burning."  
  
Fox looks at me, then smirks. "I can't believe…I'm truly losing it Resa."  
  
I smirk, "Thank you for helping."  
  
"What are friends for.", Fox tells me, I jump in his arms and he spins me around, we both feel like teenager girls at our first concert on cloud night. I know deep down inside he thinks it was wrong, but he pretends to be happy, just because I am.  
  
I look at him. "This was wrong.", I whisper. "Fox, I never wanted…God, I never, Fox I killed her."  
  
"What?", Ethan asks, walking in.  
  
I turn to him, he looks at me like I'm dirt. "You killed Rebecca?",  
  
"No.", Fox quickly replies. "Theresa, feels bad, because she couldn't call the ambulance fast enough to save Rebecca.", he lies and gives my hand a gentle squeeze as to say, stay calm.  
  
"Oh.", Ethan replied. "Theresa, I'm…"  
  
"Let it go big bro, besides I think Resa, could use sometime alone, with everything that's happened tonight and she still ain't over her son's death.", Fox tells him, he rubs his fingers over my knuckles trying to comfort me.  
  
"Resa, what in the hell?", Ethan asks, or Ethass I like to refer to him these days.  
  
"What?", Fox asks.  
  
"Resa? What in the hell, Fox I'm not going to let you play her, she's too…", Ethan begins.  
  
"Ethan, Fox isn't playing me, he is my friend, he doesn't put me on like a pair of old sneakers, he's always there for me, and if I want to shack up with him I will, which FYI, I am.", I lie, Fox smirks.  
  
"Fox, I'll…", Ethan begins coming towards him.  
  
"Sit the hell down and shut the fk up.", I tell him. "Ethan, you can not dictate my life, see you're married to Gwen, the psychotic bitch who killed my son, see I think that's just lovely, Gwen will never divorce you, and well if you step on her, hell she'll kill you. I mean, we all know she's…a little crazy and well so are you. Crazy or is it jealousy, see I'm sleeping with the uh, the better man and well, you aren't to happy, are you?", I ask,  
  
Fox smirks, I turn to him. "Come on baby, there's nothing left to say here.", I take his hand and JERing him to his room. _  
  
Now I guess your wondering what would posses me to hate Ethan, well once again that simple. See he's got no balls when it come to his wifey, she leads him around on a collar.  
  
_"Oh, Theresa, I forgot, I'm representing Gwen, I thinks she's truly sorry for what she did.", Ethan tells me.  
  
"Sorry, sorry, sorry isn't bring Ethan Martin back, sorry will not fill the void I have in my life, sorry, sorry, she's sorry? Ethan, she's not sorry nor is she sympathetic, nor is she sane But, sane or not that bitch killed my son, she took my little boy from me and I'll be damn if she gets away free she will pay."  
  
"Tacosita, at it again, hmm? Listen, Theresa, why don't we call it even I mean you lost your son Gwennie lost her daughter, we're tied, we're even, we can finally…", Rebecca begin.  
  
"Are you crazy? Gwen killed my son and I'll be damn if I let her get away with it.", I tell them and storm off. _  
  
**_A/N 2: Okay, please don't kill me, please no bashing, this chapter was dark and yes I know no one in the right mind would do such a thing, but keep in mind she's lost everything._**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Looking back my friendship with Whitney was never that strong, it was one sided I was always there for her, but she was never there for me at least not positively.

"Theresa, you can't wear that it makes you look terrible.", Whit tells me, it is our first day at Harmony High.

"Why not?", I ask, looking at myself in the mirror I don't see why Whitney says it looks terrible.

"Theresa, you're to short for the outfit and well a little fat.", Whitney tells me, Whitney had always been a bit taller and slender than I, but I wasn't all that short and I was definitively not fat.

"I think it looks great.", I tell her, pushing the brush through my shoulder length hair.

"There's everyone is going to talk? I mean…", Whitney began.

"Whit, do you want to wear this outfit?", I ask, I'm quite tired of this conversation and know exactly what it is she wants from me.

"Oh would you Theresa? I…thank you.", Whitney slips her shirt over her head and waits impatiently for me to giver her my black mesh sleeved shirt, she quickly pulls it over her head and smirks to herself.

"It fits me perfectly, wouldn't you say, Theresa?",, she asks admiring herself.

"Yeah, just perfect.", I reply, rolling my eyes.

I guess you're wondering just why I was willing to still befriends with her after that, at the time I thought nothing of it, Whitney had always been, self absorbed in away and her parents pampered her, I mean her mother was a respected doctor and her father coach at the high school she was very popular and got a lot of boyfriends, as for me I was the daughter of the Cranes' house keeper and my father was the town loser who abandoned his family, so I hung- out with as a way of attracting the guys but, most found Whitney more desirable and many of my boyfriends, left me for the lovely Whitney.

"Theresa…", Frank had began, Frank was my boy friend at the time, nothing really special, just someone who I had a crush on and he in return took a likening to me.

"Yes, Frank.", I reply giving him my sweetest smile.

"Whitney and I…", he begins.

"You want Whit, don't you?", I ask.

He nods. "Yeah, Theresa you're cool and all but, Whitney, damn she's so fine."

I nod, "I know, every guy thinks so."

"So we still cool.", Frank asks.

"Yeah.", I reply, and watch as he walks over to her and becomes chatty.

Now, I never blamed Whitney, I mean she couldn't help it that she was more popular, friendly, beautiful then me, but I do blame her for what she did to me, with Fox she knew I like him, yet she didn't care.

"So, you and Fox together?", she asked, walking over to me, I was surprised she hadn't talk to me at all since Rebecca was killed.

"No.", I sigh and look at the object of our conversation who is ordering a drinks for us at the counter.

"Really, I thought….Oh well, Theresa, me and Chad broke up. Turns out he is with Simone has been shacking up for the past two months, that explains why he has been so distant lately.", I watch Fox walk up behind us and watch a smirk form on his lips.

"Fox, hey.", Whitney turns to him flashing him her best smile and scooting over let him set beside her.

"Hey, Whit.", Fox replies, "Where's Chad?"

"Don't mention him to me.", she tells him, she is furious.

"What…", he begins,.

"Chad is hooking up with Simone.", I tell him and watch as he raps his arms around her.

"I'm sorry.", he tells her, I get beyond jealous I want to scream at him to get his hands off of her and at her to quit eating it up, I know she likes having his strong arms around her.

I get up and quickly excuse myself. "I'll be right back.", I tell them, quickly going to the bathroom, I need to cut, I need to feel.

I get in the restroom and sigh in relief no one is there, I take the razor from my purse and quickly rake it hard against my skin and sigh when it starts to bleed, I finally can feel, feel the pain tears don't help the only thing that helps is the feel of my flesh being tore, I look at the blood bright red, I feel the pain, soothing, healing. I look at awhile admiring the pain, then quickly I pull down my shirtsleeve and come back out and collect myself. I sigh then leave and go back to join them.

I watch from a far as Fox and Whitney chat, he's very close to her, I hear him say something to her and then there lips meet, it's like a knife going through my heart. Fox I want to cry, but I can't I rake my nails over the fresh cut wound, and the blood once again come, and the pain is three times worse It feels good, it calms me, I slowly approach the table my arm an aching my heart a pounding.

"Uh-hmm.", I clear my throat getting there attention and forcing them to break the kiss.

"Theresa.", Fox looks at me, he doesn't see my pain, see I learned along time ago how to hid it from him, I just simply smile and say something totally funny. "Sorry to interrupt, you kids."

He smiles, Whitney looks at me and bats her eyes. "I'll be going.", she tells me and reaches Fox her number.

"I'll call you.", she tells him.

I look at her and smile, "See you, Whit."

She doesn't look at me only walks off, she doesn't say much after that, only hello ever once in awhile.

Now, I guess your wondering were things go from here between Fox and I and he and Whit?

It raining, it's one of the few nights I have the nerve up to end it, I place the revolver to my head one pull of the trigger and I'll be gone, the nightmare will all be over, I sigh and then climb to the edge of the railing of the pier, the same place Rebecca had died. I see it as an omen, Gwen's Sara, my Ethan, Rebecca, now it is my turn now it will be tied, I place my hand over the trigger.

"Theresa?", I hear him calling, he's not to far away.

I quickly get down and put away the gun.

"Theresa…", Fox calls out running to me.

"Fox, what in the…It's 3 o' clock in the morning?", I ask.

"Same could be asked for you?", Fox asked. "Theresa, are you okay, I just got the weirdest feeling about you, are you okay?"

"I'm fine aren't I? No scratches, no bruises .", I reply, I look down and notice my sleeves are up, I quickly try to hide them, he see it and grabs my wrist, he examines them carefully then turns to me.

"This ain't good.", he tells himself.

"What ain't?", I ask, playing it cool.

"You're cutting. Theresa, you're a cutter aren't you?", Fox asks, he kisses my fresh cut and it burns, but the burn is comforting it ain't like all the other times, it is as if his kiss is healing.

I look at him and say not a thing, what good can it help, he knows.

"My God, Theresa, My God tell me how long have you been doing this?", Fox asks.

"Since his funeral.", I tell him and I swear I can see a tear in his eye for me.

He looks at me. "Why? Theresa, Why do you cut? I mean I've seen it before from the boys I went to Boarding School with, but I never could quit figure out why they did it."

"It helps.", I reply simply.

"Help? Theresa, what in the hell does that mean, helps?", he asks, he still has my wrist in his hand.

"Fox I don't feel and that is my way of getting my emotional pain out, I can't cry, I'm out of tears, I want to hurt Fox, I want to.", he puts his finger to my lips silencing me.

"What's in the purse?", he asks, noticing my death grip on it.

"Girl things.", I reply coolly.

"Well, let me see.", he tells me, I jerk it from his reach and he looks at me.

"Theresa, let me se it.", when I move again, he puts a gentle force against me and get it from me, I hold my breath my big secret is out.

"My God, Theresa, please tell me you weren't going to do that? Tell me that this is for protection, tell me…", Fox begins, I nod my head no.

"Fox, I was…I want to die.", I cry.

Fox looks at me and sighs. "Theresa, please don't…you can't leave me Resa, I need you. you can't leave me little one.", he tells me, he pulls me closer and then he takes the gun and slings it in the river. "Theresa, promise me you'll never do this again, tell me that you will never get a gun and plan on blowing that pretty little head of yours to bits, Theresa promise me."

"I can't.", I reply.

"Then you give me no other choice I'm having you committed.", he tells me.

"Okay, I promise, but Fox it's so hard, I want to join him, I want to be with my baby.", I tell him. "I miss him."

Fox looks at me, then he asks me something I'll never will forget. "Do you know what it would do to me if you die?", he asks, I look at him.

"You don't care, you just want to be my savior, but you know what, I know you don't care, you want her.", I huff.

"No, Theresa, I- I love you, okay I love you little one.", he tells me, he pulls me closer to him and our lips are inches apart. "If you die, then I die with you, do here me we die together.", he pulls out a knife, do you hear me.

I gulp, is he serious. "Are you…"

"I'm serious.", he looks at me and for the first time I want to live.

"No, I don't want you to die.", I look at him I want him so much.

"Good, beautiful.", he replies. "Let's get you home."

I nod. "No.", I reply, "I want to stay with you, I can't leave not now."

He nods, "I can't refuse you, you know that."

**A/N: Okay, that's all I'm really like this story and how it's coming along, I can't wait for school to be over I can write lol**


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